I tried to learn a new language for you. It was not an easy one. There were no textbooks, or online lessons, or vocabulary cheat-sheets. There were only my hastily scrawled notes on my palms trying to understand. There was only me, practicing my pronunciation in the mirror, watching my mouth form around unfamiliar vowels, my hands trying to learn how to hold the consonants so you might be able to better understand my accent.…
Losing It’s easy It slips between your fingers in light-years And disappears into the abyss Denying Your biggest fear triggers tears The most silent cry known to Man Nothing in your life will be the same again Regretting “I should’ve” “I could’ve” But you didn’t You build self-hatred because of it Anger Is it towards you, him, or the world? Admit it, you are ashamed Guilt flows in your veins Body in constant pain Detachment…
August 2019 I cry because I am reminded that you’re gone No one has to tell me straight to my face I feel your absence through the emptiness of my heart I go back to our conversations You “read” the message I sent you after learning about your death But it was just the police investigating what happened the night you left September 2019 I stare at my calendar out of fear You left…
The last time I felt love in the hands of another was after my own hands went cold on my bathroom floor. my fingers caught the pills one by one, one bottle after another, little white bullets being drowned in white wine. I didn’t clean the crime scene – I simply fell asleep. I wasn’t counting on the vomit or the ruination of the plush bathroom mat. I just let myself freeze under the trickles…
call me, lavender when i’m back on that bench the sea now bringing in fresh waters whilst i’m back to where i started staring out stranded somewhere between missing you and letting you go and between the muffled crashes, your voice just say you want me too call me, lavender on the same night that i lay awake with the moon realizing that i fall for people like my father and wondering what about absence…
Unbow your head sister You should never feel bad for wearing your scarf You have no right to cry whilst others laugh You laugh because you know that this is your choice And on that day you’ll be the one to rejoice Unbow your head sister You should feel no shame for covering your body Leave them to fill themselves with gainless gaudy Cover it all; the good and bad For your reward will be…
Something permeates my being All I do, and all I’m seeing biting, pricking, stings my soul I can’t find what once was whole. Broken pieces, shattered, scattered Searching mind, for what once mattered Madness creeps up spine, I shake When I’m asleep…And when I wake. No one sees a broken soul So, I’ll dig a warm deep hole Secure, no harshly snapping word To wound this heart, like sharpened sword. Just leave me be…and do…
Build a wood boat, fit just for me Caste it away on your sapphire blue sea, Set me alight with an arrow of fire My soul will be free, to fly even higher. My days here are ending, just like in a book, Sometimes, I wonder, “Dare I take a look?” How do we souls here as “humans” survive What is it that keeps us on earth, just alive? Regrets, we all live with, many…
I sit affixed to the ground wondering Was it the right choice or did I perpetuate my own suffering A feeling, so real and beautifully intense Something I did not believe my soul could sense Greedily, hungrily I drank your essence I did not stop till it filled me, healed me…became me Drunk off you, unable to stop I persisted I’d say throw the first stone, but sober, you insisted Fed me and filled me…
Story 1 Repetitive thoughts Repetitive attempts Repetitive conclusions This is truly the imperial state of discontinued belief within one’s self. The comparative subconscious that leads to solutions of no hope. The alternative to how you proceed upon your future assuming cowardicely on if you reach it. The triumphant abstract that is melancholy that immensely deteriorates the self esteem, well being and minds generous capabilities yet increases the state of guilt, suffering, self induced hurt…