Darkness

Something permeates my being
 All I do, and all I’m seeing
 biting, pricking, stings my soul
 I can’t find what once was whole.
 Broken pieces, shattered, scattered
 Searching mind, for what once mattered
 Madness creeps up spine, I shake
 When I’m asleep…And when I wake.
 No one sees a broken soul
 So, I’ll dig a warm deep hole
 Secure, no harshly snapping word
 To wound this heart, like sharpened sword.
 
 Just leave me be…and do not touch
 I’ve cried for years, and cared too much,
 The constant pretence, “All’s okay”
 Plus… “You can cope for one more day”
 It’s not!!! It’s NOT!!!…I cry salt tears
 I see no end for many years,
 I’ve given all I have to give
 And left me none…for me to live
 Does anyone listen?… this I doubt
 They just say, “whats this about?
 Let it just go, over your head”
 {Walk in my shoes, I’ve thought, not said}
 Enough of years, caring, trying
 Nursing illness, comfort the dying,
 Am caught inside the endless life
 Where does it end?…a pill…a knife?
 A hangman’s rope, a drowning sea?!!!
 Yet no one sees conflict in me
 so, darkness come…surround me now,
 Till I go…somewhen…somehow  

-Roseanne Wilson