call me, lavender when i’m back on that bench the sea now bringing in fresh waters whilst i’m back to where i started staring out stranded somewhere between missing you and letting you go and between the muffled crashes, your voice just say you want me too call me, lavender on the same night that i lay awake with the moon realizing that i fall for people like my father and wondering what about absence attracts my heart because no part of love looks like waiting for an apology or explanation i admit, i don’t know love just love-shaped things that i pour into myself no matter good or bad because i’m empty - i’m half a woman, half an orphan call me lavender or call me sunshine when you tell me in a half-sorry way that i’m hard to love in the past i would have healed this with a clueless anyone but anyone else isn’t you and that turns out to be a huge problem for me but even you aren’t you, i don’t know you i know our empty promises our favorite colour lavender, i guess the three years during which you wanted me had nothing on those two days but don’t let me be misunderstood because i am not chasing you as i am perfectly trained in being alone but we could have been happy, that’s perhaps the hardest thing to know -Wiktoria Smigas