Do you remember the day? Or should I say days, because I remember the struggle, I remember the hunger, I remember the days you left me and let him touch me. I remember how he broke me. I remember at just 6 years old, you told me you wanted to run away and just leave me. I remember, you threaten to kill yourself because I wasn't worth it. So now it's my turn - mama. Let the blade kiss my skin, Time and Time again. Do you remember mama? because I remember, my first attempt to end it all, but you don't know mama, and you'll never know, for I hid my tears and pain from you in fear of backlash. Remember mama? Every time I opened up, I was reminded of how selfish and ungrateful I am. I was reminded that I had no right to cry. You forget mama, I was there from the beginning of all our struggles. I am still here – mama. So, I closed myself off, only cried in secret, hid my tear-stained cheeks, and smiled at you - mama. Yet my mind remained constant. Mama, why is it hard to love me? Mommy is there something wrong with me, am I really the cause of all your problems? If you leave, can I leave too? -Asha-Queen Adisi