Juliet Rose Meets The Corpse Orchid

when thoughts transcend space and becomes memories in time 
 I stay frozenly enticed, beached on land whale weight sunken waited for her to come 
 Alive 
 come alight despite the lack of light 
 voluptuously she was packed tight like completed check list pieces of her puzzle 
 came as one 
 I became witness to this frantic Stela evolution 
 standing there watching her in resemblance to molecular clouds transformed into a 
 form from collapsing clouds of gas and dust to a beautiful star 
 we locked eyes, 
 a picture perfect I remained paralyzed 
 and that very moment I went back in time 
 far back into a distant memory 
 back when all she needed to do was to just reflect her gorgeous smile with powers to 
 distort my armoury 
 I was deeply in love with her
 really attached to her 
 quick snap back my mind quickly escaping that revery 
 as we drew closer to each other 
 territorial out of place each a place away from which we came from
 when we met on neutral grounds, her infrared wavelength of a pulse was pounding as 
 loud as an earthquake breaking new ground 
 Starstruck my mind pacing with intentions the intensity sent shivers down my spine
 finally when we spoke
 I saw borrowed pieces from the people w ho she came to meet
 people who had came to take as well as give 
 through her eye I saw a vicious victim of past lover experience who had taught her to 
 calculate her steps away from these landmines called Love 
 new marks tracing around and under her eye not even a mascara could hide 
 that's when it dawned on me that I'm now face to face with her new heart that was 
 transplanted new seeds of involuntary withered hope 
 like white American waterlily only opening up during the day and closes at night 
 cause theres only a portion of her she’s wiling to share alright 
 the rest of herself burnt she keeps hidden inside polo necks 
 and long sleeves shirts 
 scared of how I’ll react when I see the numbers of cuts on her wrist 
 well placed like dominoes a uniquely quintessential roman figured series telling her 
 story 
 who said death wasn’t supposed to be beautiful? 
 she’s drawn back to her grandmothers teaching about life and what you choose to do 
 with it 
 sealing your plans making sure they’re watertight, proof 
 but there I was, too afraid to show her that I too was a wreck, weakened captain of a 
 sinking ship 
 scared to show her that under my belt lied failed number of uncompleted trips 
 and so away I tried to escape my smothering thoughts by syncing this synergy 
 making sure it is well placed on my lips 
 a smile came out
  but this time my teeth were clenched together as if to try and not resuscitate the truth 
 not to spew the secrets I kept within 
 secrets of pointing fingers the blame game that my index stayed stuck upon. 
 Her for her failure to cultivate the love we had into Juliet Rose bucket 
 I couldn’t show, tell her that in her absence my chest reformed into a Botanical Garden 
 keeping records of the past lover experience 
 I wanted to shout and yell “The Juliet Rose that was once under our care 
 had turned into a Ghost Orchid”at her 
 that I crashed into you so how I got introduced to you was only by accident 
 or tell her about those uninvited guests that visit me at night when I cannot sleep 
 and she’s all I think about 
 but where would I start, at least with monopoly theres a point of reference 
 a source of direction 
 do I say hi with a smile touch on few things and tel her”I miss you" 
 do I say hi same with a smile touch on few things but not to reveal so much she 
 might think I'm weak 
 what do you do when you find yourself stuck on such predicament?
  say nothing at all and let actions peak for itself…
 I swear this life is confusing like a cat pouncing on stuck up ball of wool confusing it 
 for a mouse 
 my emotion playing me how can love and hate be so much imbalance? 
 confused much 
 when I looked at her she was already staring at me with rested and assuring smile 
 as if she had bared witness to the bitterness of a corpse flower breeding inside 
 me not wilting at it’s new sight 
 for the 2nd time I forced a smile but eyes are the Windows to the soul and this soul is covering a deadly storm 
 eyes are the windows to the soul and this soul is covering a deadly storm 
 and we… we came to a deadly halt 
 agreed to undo the unkept promises that were tied in knots 
 too tired to be haunted furthermore
 we acknowledged our faults and understood that these bandages had to be taken off 
 cause a life with no regrets is a life surely not lived 
 we part ways with each ones half heart in someone else's palm 
 she’s never been a fan of hugs we so longed a song long and ventured forth 

-Sandile Ndabukelwayo