09: LGBTQA - Sept 2021

Rainbow Acceptance

My path a straight line,
Black and white with hints of grey.
Marriage to a man, children,
Is that not the only way to work?
Hard labour in the mornings,
Mother to three at night.

But a rainbow interfered,
Colours of grey untraceable.
The temptation to let it in lingered,
But I successfully restraint.
As I should not commit sins,
Should I not?

Google my only salvation,
To grasp this incomprehensible mess.
But people online were different, peculiar,
They were proudly showing their colours.
It seemed absolutely preposterous,
I could not possess a rainbow.
I would not.
Denial was my only saviour,
Without it, I would succumb to temptation.

Curious teenagers questions swirled,
Like a constant memory in my mind.
The thought seemed absurd,
Must never cross my mind.
Pretence was a false hope,
I just could not blend in.

Praying, bleeding,
What must the solution be?
I could never accept,
this monstrous part of me.
Weeks, Months, Years,
How long must it take?

Acceptance is a lengthy journey,
I welcome my rainbow fate at last.
My path is now filled with circles,
I feel complete,
I feel like me.

-Bluebell Winters

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