07: The Body - July 2021

I Live Here

I was afraid people will meet my weight before they meet me - 
 shake the hand of the few pounds that won’t shift 
 before they shake my own 
 
 Growing into myself made self hatred swell in my expanse,
 it invited disgust to settle here, 
 making a home for itself inside my suffocating ribcage
 
 These days, I’m taking up space,
 Slapping my thighs to watch the wiggle and laughing, not crying
 
 This is my body. 
 I live here, I love here, I won’t be afraid of my reflection
 
 No sheets over mirrors to hide 
 that flash of exposed flesh in the corner of my eye 
 that makes my throat tighten,
 
 This curse has been handed down the generations, 
 this gripping at the edges of our selves, 
 turning concave inwards as our stomachs bite at nothing 
 
 This is a present I won’t accept, 
 I will not hand down this heirloom to the next young girl
 
 We are made to be human, 
 Our skeletons are not the form to which we must cling 

-Nicole
 

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