What do I tell my parents who are black. that I can’t cope, you know most say I cry myself to sleep there isn’t a reason I can’t seem to stop the drought that forms on my pillow. What do I tell my parents who are black. Sweat covers my palms, my breathing shallows. I can’t seem to say what I want to, what I need to. Because I’m scared of failure furthermore I fear rejection the most. What do I tell my parents who are black. That I’m sad all the time but it’s not demons nor is it white people disease it’s reality it is soaked beneath the surface and I can’t do anything about it like a tumor it eats away but to them it’s not that deep cause you dare not compare a broken soul to a broken bone. What do I tell my parents who are black. I harm myself everyday, not only would I be ridiculed but I would be bashed because only edgy white girls with tumblr accounts do it and I’m not allowed to feel such emotion. What do I tell my parents who are black. The countless attempts of taking my life doesn’t seem to be a problem. The problem is that I am seemingly not grateful that I have a roof over my head, food in my belly and no worries. If only that was true if I wasn’t scared that this shit wasn’t going to end in tragedy. What do I tell my parents who are black. Absolutely nothing, because what would be the point? Because I suffer alone that’s how it’s meant to be not even my peers understand me. I hold my own hand but I slowly lose grip as I fall deep into this wave with no strength whatsoever. I'd rather sink than swim because staying afloat is exhausting. -Nathalia Onayomake