when grieving is something you’ve finally been given permission to do
you take a breath
because you haven’t taken one in years
because you haven't been allowed to
it tastes smokey
the bitter bits left in the fire after it’s all burnt out
your light is gone
is has been for years now
you still search for it in the darkness
between the flickers of light the moon lets in as the west wind howls
they howled
cried out
please
please
please
but they could not hear
we could not hear
they took them too far
far
is where you searched for your home
anywhere but here
because here is where it hurts
here is where the road opened up never to close again
hear
the water
showing them the way home
we knew they’d return
we didn’t think it would be in pieces
peace is
finding a way to seperate yourself from the pain
while also embracing it
dividing myself is my favorite pass-time
time
can not be turned back
this is our history
his story started like this:
a little boy’s heart was ripped away and they couldn’t afford to pay for stitches
stitch this, Canada
we’ve finally taken away the veil
we’ve been sewing it for years
you didn’t tell us what it was hiding
while we were hiding
you sold our stories to Disney
turned it into one of love
love
is something most of us are just now learning to do
learning
is something we’re just now understanding
should not come with hate
that playgrounds
are something we’re told
should not come with graves
when grieving is something you’ve finally been given permission to do
you begin to see that a closet
may just be a closet
not a prison cell
that a child
may just be a child
not a wound you must keep hidden
that a dream
may just be a dream
not something someone can use against you
when grieving is something you’ve finally been given permission to do
you stop looking for permissions
and look for yourself
Instead
-Connor "Ninkiins" Lafortune