07: The Body - July 2021

Parental Advisory

I wish for the day it sustains its entity 
It is always indentured and has no 
I have traveled from house to home.
I have grown mentally yet I am still not 
I have yet to find a residence where my 
feelings feel free to condone.
What I once thought were emotions that I
had longed for, happened to be something
that I shall not experince at all.
I fear of returning to a place of verbal
I fear the hostility at home that lies waiting.
I feel helpless.
In the instance of conflict I seem to be 
I have tried to escape from this place, I once
called home, yet it it'self carried a
pesimistic weight.
The door is concealed with choice of entry.
The passage a place that condemns me.
The rooms are illusions wrapped within a 
fasad covered upon with lies.
I am experinced yet am not suited for 
family ties.
every relationship is deceiving.
Every interaction is a metaphoric anemic.
My expectations are completely timid.
I continue to reach the outburst of my 
traumatic limit.
I am now misunderstood in tense.
Should it be prnounced as my mother, my
father or does it result in one individual
having to endure the act of repent.
This experience has consumed me for a 
It's objective is clear.
It generates from emotional dividends and 
storage of fear.
It takes me as it's pathological need of
It's source of exposure.
It's expiration is unwary and I do not want it
to be in the state that is provoked.
I desire release.
Seeing another day is considered a breathe of relief.
I am still in the pursuit of happiness.
Epiphanies, illusions and madness.
Give me secreted withdrawl that is not by 
I continue as a depressed adolescent child.
I am a silent victim with a disfigured smile.
I am an unhappy child.
I seek my longed for self reightous pride.
I can no longer cry.
Is this what I currently see to be my life.
I contain no more remarks or replies.
I can no longer defend myself as I am torn 
to a speck of impractical paint dye.
I ask why.
Yet it seems unreasonable since I fail
With their fascist demands that leave in 
fear to confide within someone else.
They are dehumanizing my mental health.
Please help.
Am I soft, surely not.
I am just a lost cause.
Not even a clause could simplify the stature 
of pain.
The trauma that I have sustained.
The inconsolable state of mind.
The child that continues to die inside.

Parental Advisory has reached it's inevitable 
Till the next forseen mistake.
I bid you all farewell.

-Chungwa Tshomela

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