10: Spirituality - Oct 2021

Shame

'There's something godly about you tonight.'
If you would ever be so kind, 
please don't say that, please refrain,
you mustn't ever now forget
that way I barfed out in the rain, 
the way I laid down dagger dead, 
on the concrete, out of breath.
Keep that memory engrained, 
of my loudest ugly cries, 
of my childish jealousies,
that would always get the best of me.

We grow up and we mature, 
but our time together never would
so, for me, you stay the same, 
immorality's most moral,
like a saint, but always mortal.
For me, as such, make no exceptions, 
for I am flawed as flawed can be, 
and sometimes even big old girls 
will find solace in indulgence, 
a little beer, a little substance,
hardly can I carry it as I did back then, 
but I'm no better at my strongest, 
if my weak is still my weakest.

Perhaps one day we'll meet again, 
standing at the gates of Hell, 
all our vices from our lives 
all our laced pills intertwined,
all the heresies we taught each other
simply because we were able, 
everything assured our places, 
on an adventure for the ages.
One way ticket, no returning, 
to a land, putridly smoldering
of teenage acts of sodomy, 
could you stand this, honestly?

For redemption I must beg,
and beg I will until the Holy God 
will have snatched His bloody whore,
will have skinned her body whole, 
and lay His light inside of me,
releasing me from my past sins.

Only then should you ever say,
'There's something godly about you tonight.'

- L.M Constance

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