06: Open - June 2021

Same Old Same Old Different

My good friend despair disguised herself and took on a new identity.                                               
 She introduced herself as a newborn baby                                                                                  
 named unconditional love gently wrapped                                                                                       
 in fluffy butterfly blankets.  
 She knew that she would be worshipped and adored by all and that anyone would give 
anything just to experience her mesmerizing presence.          

It was my turn to hold the baby.                                                                                                                     
I accepted this heaven-sent gift with shaky arms                                                                          
and an even greater fear of losing her.
I nurtured her and did everything I could                                                                                                 
to suppress the fear of hurting her and to ignore the question:                                                                      
“what will happen when she leaves?”

I became paranoid and obsessed with keeping you away from all harm.                                            
I stopped feeding you because I feared that you would outgrow the little box I kept you in.                                                                                                                       I suffocated you because I feared that someone                                                                           
would hear you cry and take you away from me.

I neglected you so that I would not feel attached to you.

And before I knew it, the day finally came where I no longer had to cover your mouth 
because you could not cry anymore.                                                                                                      
I did not have to neglect you because you were not there anymore.

Just like that… I had become a murderer and your fateful facade was revealed to the whole 

I took a sigh of relief because I instantly recognized you and that was when I remembered 
that you had pulled this trick a thousand times before

Same old, same old different 

-Azwikonisaho Ramavhuya

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