06: Open - June 2021

A Moment Exhausted Long Past Its Expiration Date

 What lasts?
 Things bright, shiny and new,
 or things worn out and lived through? 
 Where is the consistency in love, 
 when loss lurks at every corner? 
 A perpetual reminder,
 that all we’ll ever truly know
 is the absence of something. 
 
 It’s been quiet
 and I’ve been
 tracing back to all the instances of you.
 Truth be told, the memories are fading.
 Thank god, or whoever.
 I thought I’d never
 rid myself of the ghost of you. 
 Haunting,
 looming
 at the back of my mind. 
 Not that you’re dead,
 but to me, you might as well be. 
 
 Consider this a shout into the void.
 The void being your heart, of course. 
 And the shout being a nod of recognition
 to solidify the implication 
 that I’ll never hear from it again. 
 The strum of your breath.
 Your chest rising and falling.
 The laughter shared by nervous lovers
 and the silence of unapologetic, unparalleled
 happiness. 
  
 Fare thee well, then,
 newfound stranger. 
 As I dress these thoughts 
 in excessive words, 
 I’m struck with knowing 
 that I can fill this vacancy 
 however I wish.
 With dancing, and poetry 
 or whatever else I can utilize
 to romanticize my loneliness. 
 
 I hope you never read this.
 I hope you never know how hard it is. 
 I hope the image of me in your mind
 is of someone who is cold and angry. 
 There is power in anger
 and at this moment, I’m weaker than
 I’ve
 ever
 been.

-Carina Wessels
 

 

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