11: Open - Nov 2021

My Anxiety Attack

It all makes me sick, my heart beats in my throat
I can’t put it off, it thickens the air like smoke
I take deep breaths but all I do is shake
My mind is a mess, I can’t think straight

The waiting, the anticipation; I see them at every turn
I stop to hold back the vomit and I listen to my stomach churn

My every source of joy is plagued by the panic
My mind knows no rest, it’s loud and manic
I’m overwhelmed, I’m spiraling, I need to shut it out!
I’m scared of what I might do if I can’t figure this out

I don’t wanna eat, I can’t even sleep
My waking thoughts are dragging me to the deep
I wanna scream, I need to shout
Something or anything, just get it all out!

I can’t even confide, they wouldn’t understand
I’m left confined so they needn’t comprehend

My feelings are hurting me
My mind is loud
I don’t know where from here,
But it’s no where near sound

- Olwethu Mzileni

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